Friday, 30 October 2009

Back from the Gulag


Your author, Ilyich, has returned from his hellish period in the gulags. As a journalist committed to shining light on Russia's spy network, periods in the gulags are an occupational hazard.

But they will not deter me! I have the courage of fifty wolves!





Several spy revelations have made themselves known during my time away. First and foremost, in Bulgaria, nine more classified documents have disappeared from the Council of Ministers. The culprit is not known for sure... but it is highly suspicious that some of the stolen documents held information about Russia's use of the "energy card" as a political weapon (Vlad often uses his monopoly on energy to blackmail Europe). It seems a safe assumption that the documents have been squirrelled away by a russian agent, presumably so they may be spied on later.


A Very Secret Document


Meanwhile, over to the north-west in Sweden, a Russian spy has been "outed". Writer Jan Guillou is one of Sweden's best-known public figures... famous for her novels, in which secret agent Carl battles against Russian spies.

Ironically, it has turned out that Guillou was a Russian spy herself. She revealed casually in a tabloid interview that she spent her spare time passing reports to her Russian spy friends, after a hard day's work spying for Russia and drinking Russian standard Vodka.


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EDIT: A final note, on UK Unionist and household name Jack Jones. I was uncharacteristically late in picking up on the fact that the man was a venerable Russian Spy, at least at the height of his influence. I pledge to be more paranoid in future.