Russian spies everywhere were left with an identity crisis a few days ago. A lot of soul-searching was required when US President Barack Obama declared he would scrap the European missile defence network in its current form, and come up with an alternative, involving the Russians in a pro-active role.
Needless to say, Chief Russian spy Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin was unsure how to react when the US President unpredictably gave him what he wanted. Vladimirovich had been arguing for the defence system to be scrapped for years, citing pathological paranoia as his main reason, but he never expected anyone to listen to him.
Hundreds, perhaps millions of Russian spies had been employed on the case, throughout Europe. Now jobless and hungry, the positive move comes as a huge blow to the now unemployed Russian spy masses. With the necessity for spying plummeting, this will likely be the start of an unemployment crisis in Russia, where 95% of the population get into the spying business.
Spies made redundant in Moscow
One ex-spy told the Weblog; "This is just bloody typical of the American swine. First, they draw up this missile defence system, so we [Russia] have to keep operating this ridiculous spy network to keep an eye on them. Then, as if drawing up the plans wasn't bad enough, they scrap them! I had a job, once- Now I'm redundant, thanks to them. Everyone I know was in the spy business. And everyone they know".
